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Thursday, 23 January 2014

Marathon training Bear Grylls style

Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

I'm taking a break from writing about my head and feelings and all that guff today as I have a story that just begs to be told and frankly it just makes me giggle thinking about it. It's all true, every last word of it.

Once upon a time there were two fuzzy and cuddly guinea pig brothers. Bumble Bee and Carlos. These little chaps were not known for dangerous stunts or daring deeds but all that was about to change. The cheeky fellas persuaded their owner that it would be a good plan if they were to get a bit of fresh air as a change of scenery from their winter quarters in the shed and were duly placed safely into their carry basket and were soon off on an adventure swinging down the road. Thing is that adventure was just about to get very dark.

Now what happened next is still unclear. Maybe the to and froing of the basket made them feel a little seasick, maybe they got the wind under their tails, all we know was there was a sudden Mexican wave inside the basket which tilted it sideways. Suddenly the lid flew open and for a moment there was a matrix style slow motion guinea pig flying through the air.
'Noooooooo' we both yelled. Bumble bee sat in the middle of the road and glanced casually at his owners before scuttling under the nearest largest bush.

Couldn't swear. Little ears were present. Now what?

I made a mad dash to place his brother back into hutch leaving youngest in a staring game with bumble and returned to start part 1 of the great guinea pig hunt. Well we clambered through bushes, we placed random slices of cucumber and then it got dark.

You can imagine the scene can't you. Tearful children, wide eyed mother trying to keep her blood pressure down( let's not forget that I'm not supposed to get too excited) , probably half the cats in the neighbourhood peering round corners not to mention local mr. Foxy getting his bib and tucker ready.

We had to admit defeat and had to hope that neighbours placing shoeboxes filled with kale would do the trick and at least provide some sanctuary. ( how middle class am I that my neighbours eat kale?)

The girls , grandparents who had joined the search and I headed home a little sadder and thinking that we would have to tell Carlos that his brother had gone up to the stars. We hadn't however take into account marathon dad who on returning home was not to be deterred by the challenge of hunting for a black guinea pig in the dark.

He donned his running headlight and was off into the undergrowth. Truly a Bear Grylls moment to behold as he crawled along on his belly encouraged by neighbours who had brought out nets and boxes in search of bumble who frankly was not enjoying his Born Free moments who was sighted near to his launch point. Now at this point I can honestly say I do not ever thing there has been a marathon training plan that has included night time rescue of guinea pigs. It took stamina, determination, strong stomach muscles and a single bloody minded ness that this pig would be coming home.

And he did. Bumbles gratefully accepted the hand that reached for him and came in from the cold. Two happy girls, one amazed wife, one slightly chilly pig and a hubby who can now add guinea pig wrangling to his cv.

Happy endings. What is it with us and rodents. Guinea pigs, gerbils.....

Anyway if you are as impressed as I and enjoyed our tale then why not cheer my boy on as he continues training for London, which he will hopefully complete without chasing guinea pigs by sponsoring him and helping a fantastic charity at the same time.

Sponsor London marathon


  1. smirking and smiling as I read this one :) ha ha

  2. Nice to raise a smile for a change xx