“Stock-taking or "inventory checking" is the physical verification of the quantities and condition of items ”So I’ve notched up six years since that crazy day when ‘all change please’ was called on my brain and as is now my customary practice I use the day and date to perform a bit of a stocktake for myself and mark what’s new and changed this year.
I can’t help it as it probably stems back to my shop days when I was known as a bit of a stock taking queen and so was asked to support most of the different departments complete their annual stocktake. On Sunday Mornings a small band of us would file into a silent store absent of any shoppers and just get on with it. Back then I loved the preparation, the count, the assessment of what was missing the investigation and then putting in a solution and I rather think I’ve adopted some of that in the six years since. Mind you I got great overtime when I used to do that which may have been some of the appeal too.
So where am I in my neuron regeneration and new habit adaptation six years on from my SAH? I spend less time these days looking back and comparing to where I was and what I could do than I did. I think that’s probably healthy and also I’ve had six years to get used to and adapt to this version of myself and so I am wiser to my changed limits and hard edges. I still don’t get them right but hey who does. But I have also cautiously stretched what I can attempt and take on and that offers me encouragement that it’s still the right thing to do to lean in and see how far I can go and slowly and steadily continue with regains.
Thing is brain injury does a strange thing to a girl and how I make, form and keep memories. For me it’s improved some of that recall ability for me and that has brought benefits, like being able to do a great photofit when our house got recently burgled.. After having to reteach myself ways to recall sights, objects, memories combined with paying attention it now makes me a bit of a serial pay attentioner. ( I know made up word) . I am incredibly visually attentive as a result . You won’t find me looking at my phone and walking as I would just fall over so if I do look at something I really look, and really notice details and see what’s in my path and this newly honed skill of mine did trip up at least the accomplice sat outside my house that day.
Some things I know are out of the window probably forever, some things are a way off and that’s ok but I’m a lot further away from the wrapping papers that sat around the crazy time post bleed and James Shunt joining me and that distance feels good. Life goes on albeit to a differently paced drum.