I have leant heavily over the last few months on every member of my family. They too have been on a journey that at times has been fearful and worrying but throughout this episode in our lives they have remained calm and offered me love and support at every turn , even if sometimes I'm too much of a grumpy sheep to accept it.(topical children's xmas play reference!). This unity has helped me build my strength and confidence so that i can slowly move forward and whilst it's slower than the pace I would wish for I can see the changes.
One thing about having this kind of event happen and the subsequent brain insult is that it is a very tortoise paced process to reclaim things you were so used to doing. Some might never be in reach but with others its about rebuilding the confidence that it's still ok to do it. Thankfully I've been able to do lots of things again for the first time; swimming was blissful but scary, riding a bike was challenging but probably a bit much too soon, wobbly is an understatement but bizarrely enough my real test of nerves So far was going to the cinema.
I've been left with some noise sensitivity and tinutus and bright lights bother me, and all that aside if I'm honest , what i was really nervous was that having that intensity of experience might be dangerous, would my head cope? But I don't Want to be scared of stuff, I need to move on. What to do? Step up my Nana. Yep , my ninety year old grandmother volunteered to be my companion on my first trip back to the theatre. So off we went on our adventure. one rainy afternoon in late November we taxied to the flicks with our mint imperials and ear plugs for me and watched Skyfall. Even with my ear plugs in I could still hear Nanas intake of breath in appreciation whenever Mr Craig removed his top, which he did a lot. Respect!
Fast forward to now and I'm mourning the passing of my vibrant and steady cinema companion but reflecting on the gift she gave me that day. Yes She checked i was ok but she didnt fuss me, she just had belief that it was all going to be ok, and encouraged me have the same faith and to take each day at a time. Her philosphy was to keep going until the point at which you no longer can enjoy yourself.
Be greatful for the small things.
That is what she did and it served her well. So gosh I miss her but I'm stronger and happier for having known her. And I hope they have some fit Daniel Craig lookalikes werever she is, she'd like that!