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Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Santa gets his marching orders

Its been a while since I last updated my pop blog. The truth is things have settled down a little more in my world and as my horizons are currently quite narrow due to my licence still in the possession of the DVLA and my inability to walk long distance. Outcome is I've not had much to report and I figured an update on my latest baking achievements might be a bore.( mince pie cupcakes if you're interested)
James and the gerbils have settled themselves into an uneasy but tolerable existence. My pain is manageable and each day I try and find something good to be happy about.

People often ask me how it feels having this strange drain in my head. Well it hurts when its really cold but it is metal in part so no surprise there and my head is pretty lumpy but then it was always slightly odd shaped. The best way I can explain the feeling is that it's like having the queen of all hangovers without any of the fun of the night before. I haven't dared have a drink since March explosion as the permanent hungover state kind of suggests that a real booze hangover could be very nasty indeed.

One welcome side benefit of all my head explosion business is the return of my old friend 'coca cola 'back into my life. Me and the brown stuff had a love love relationship in the nineties and now we're back together forever. Okay in truth it was mainly because it was the perfect mixer for Bacardi , but I was working long hard hours in retail and my liquid refreshment and often meal of choice was Coke and boy did it keep me going. I soon realised this sugary caffeine concoction was not doing me much good back then so weaned myself off. Then many years later the brain docs whilst witnessing my rather violent reaction to a lumber puncture and subsequent low brain fluid pressure suggested that I drink some coke. So that's good enough for me, after 15 years off the stuff when my head pressure is low I now reach for a full fat coke, feel no guilt and gosh it tastes great. Don't think they'll be signing me up for an advert just yet though what with my lumpy head, I can just see the slogan including the word'shunt!

When I'm sipping my cold nectar drink it often gets me thinking back to my retail days; I has such fun then and i chuckled to myself the other day remembering that I fired Father Christmas. Working in a big London store as the Toy manager meant i got to take on the grotto each year. Elves, you expect trouble from them, we hired and fired loads of them, inappropriate relations with another Elf in the grotto after hours was just one of may reasons. FC though you would expect to know better. Letting Santa go was not a decision I took lightly but unfortunately my attempt at team building amongst the Christmas temporary staff obviously worked too well when they took Santa over the pub and got him tipsy at lunchtime. The smell of Johnny Walker is not a welcome one in any grotto so Santa had to go. Christmas cheer was in short supply during that conversation. So I guess this mummy won't be caught kissing Santa Claus as he'd probably run a mile . I wish all of you a healthy and happy Christmas with your family and friends and thanks for the love and support ive had this year as I head to my first Christmas with my new, some would say improved, head.
Hopefully the gerbils won't get too excited over the christmas period.

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