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Tuesday, 2 December 2014

When the wind blows

It was incredibly windy the other day where I live as the tail end of a hurricane blew in from across the Atlantic. One of the oddest and strangest side effects since my brain bleed is that wind can really seem to shift the old neurons around a little and make me feel extra spacey. I'm sure everyone has seen a cat running and jumping when there is a gusty wind, they twirl and spin like dervishes and just appear a little unsettled by the weather and it creates a similar feeling for me but without the twirling and spinning( guaranteed to fall over on my arse if I did that!)  I have speculated on reasons for the increase of sensation , maybe it is the increase in noise and vibration that the brain has to process but whatever the reason wind of the weather kind is guaranteed to run my new neurological battery levels down quicker than anything.  I wear a hat most days but in wind it is an essential bit of kit for any outside activity but even that doesn't save me from the impact of wind rushing across my ear drums it seems.

The weirdest thing though is my increase in brain fog is always accompanied by deep and eye watering pain all down my right side finishing buried deep under my shoulder blade and so I find myself singing not ' rain rain go away' but 'pain pain go away' which thankfully it does when the wind finally blows through. This happens each and every time the weather changes so it can't be coincidence can it as I know that shortly after a low pressure front rolls in I will be saying hello to the old faithful of the pain and brain fog like I am greeting a relative that I don't get on with but still have to give uneasy house room to; I don't have a choice but to let them in! actually I now find the better way is to accept it, sit with it and then it eventually changes and blows away leaving me feeling relief and a renewed vigour and thankfulness of how lucky I am that it does always keep changing.

These peculiar effects one of my bleeds legacy and shadows reminds me how little we understand about the brain but that fact leaves me wonderfully hopeful in the possibilities for my continued healing and growth.

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