So this time 2 years ago things weren't looking that promising for me to be honest. That's what I have been told anyway. My last real memory of that day is of telling someone that something was terribly wrong in my head. Then nothing else. Roll on 24 months and my landscape is very different. I am back working through the support of fabulous work colleagues , it shows me what can be achieved when you keep an open mind to what is possible. Working has been really important to help me keep plotting new pathways as my brain continues to heal and learn new ways after its injury. I also have ticked off a lot of my 'regain'' ambitions , not all and I confess to not being terribly patient with my progress on others but I will plod on and I have a big one planned which I report on in due course. I have moved slowly, painfully at times but even on the hardest days I can still see how far we have come, it's a wonderful gift really.
I have been so fortunate in having many comforters, cheer leaders and reassurers ( is that even a word?) throughout this time. People brought me kits kats, sent me cheery pictures and words, sent me texts to lift the spirit and kept me in mind. I am part of a new club, old friends wrapped me in their love like a comfort blanket, family kept me steady and stable and my head up. I have completed the thoughtful gifts of jigsaws to test the grey matter, knitted, sewed and each little test and challenge felt like one more neuron firing into life. Yes it still hurts each time a little, bit like your worst hangover if you really want to know (I guess that's why I just don't drink anymore, I get all the effects with none of the fun) To the darling Allan's I can only thank you ( I think ) for introducing our family to Jungle Speed. MIL hates that her grandkids beat her every time we play and it was an absolute torture for my memory at first but I am glad to say I have gradually mastered it.
Then there has been my amazing guinea pig wrangling hubby. He's been through the mill too for the last two years. For better for worse, isn't that what they say? Well this has definitely been one of those worse but also shown us our 'better' too. He has lifted , mopped, driven, comforted , rushed, waited, prayed and loved me. He has calmly and patiently helped and coached me to keep on keeping on through the hardest of times. And all the time he has just exuded a confidence that sometimes I just didn't have, that it would be ok. And now what's he gone and done? Well only taken on the challenge of running a marathon for the hospital which is probably one of his least favourite places in the world. Think about it. I mean I have a fond attachment to the place, sure there are some pretty horrid memories but mostly I feel good about my time there as it's where I was given hope and reassurance whereas for him this is where he has felt at his most hopeless , sat for what probably felt like the longest and scariest moments in his life. It's a place where he held our babies as they cried after seeing me, where he was helpless to do anything but watch and wait with the rest of the family and not know what came next. I wouldn't have blamed him if he never wanted to go near the place again but instead he is helping me raise money instead because this is a place and are people who fixed the pieces that were broken , helped us learn about changes my bleed wrought and they are doing the same for people everyday of the year and we can never repay that debt. We want them to be able to keep on helping the seemingly impossible cases, allowing people to hope against odds , to keep pushing surgical boundaries, breaking new ground, finding neurological cures for big and horrible diseases. There's always a sad story, but there is also some amazing stories within them where amazing things have been achieved and it's because of places like this.
Brain conditions are just like any illness , they are hard, they don't discriminate, there's nothing easy about it. I have dear friends who have their own brain challenges that they learn to live with, I've met even more people through this experience who have survived seemingly impossible traumas and it's never a straightforward recovery or path for any of us as there is still so much that remains unknown, uncharted. We may look ' fixed' but there's a lot still going on believe me. We still need organisations like the National Brain Appeal to support and help us move forward.
Sponsor London marathon
So hubby runs a long , hard run on 13th April and I know he won't complain to me about any aches afterwards and we really want to raise some money that will go directly to improving outcomes for the 1 in 6 people in the UK that have brain conditions or injuries. If you can spare anything we would love it for you to sponsor his race. Well to sponsor a great charity really. Thanks.
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